5 TIPS ON SURVIVING A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.
When my boyfriend and I found out we were going to universities 443.5 miles away from each other, we were a little worried about how to make our relationship work. We had already survived 3 years together, but that was when reaching each other involved a short walk or a car drive. Suddenly he was off to Aberdeen University and myself to De Montfort, and our relationship would soon be classed as ‘long-distance’. I’m not going to lie, I was scared about how it would all work. Would we stay together or would it all go to pot? Well, we decided to stick at it and I’m very glad that we did. It was tough, but we survived our first year of University and we are happier than ever! There are a lot of people who say that long distance relationships don’t, and cannot, work. These people are wrong. It is difficult and it can be hard work, but if you are willing to put in the effort then there is nothing stopping you and your sweetie staying together. So, in order to help all you lovebirds, I’ve compiled some helpful tips for surviving a long distance relationship!
- Communicate! It may sound obvious, but communication is the most important part of any relationship. Talk to your other half everyday! It keeps the two of you involved in each other’s lives. University life may interfere with this – you may have different timetables, societies and sports you need to go to, and nights out that just can’t be missed – but you can work around that. Text instead of call some days, use instant message or even emails. Another way of communicating, and it may sound old fashioned, is writing letters to each other. Getting a text or a phone call is lovely, but nothing can beat that feeling of receiving a letter in the post! My boyfriend and I have always written letters to each other. It’s a wonderful way to let your other half know you’re thinking of them and it’s more meaningful than a text.
- Skype each other. Some might say that this comes under communication, but I feel it needs its own section, as it’s so important. Technology can now allow us to actually see, face to face, the one person you miss the most from the comfort of your own room! Set dates to skype each other and stick to them. It doesn’t have to be every day, but skyping once or twice a week will make you feel closer. Maybe skype when you’re both eating dinner – that’s basically the same as going out for dinner with each other… right?!
- Travel Jump on a train, plane or automobile and go visit your other half! Just set a date and go because it’s important to go see them! When you’re in a long distance relationship any time you get to spend with your significant other is like a mini holiday. You end up talking more than you usually would and going out and doing activities because the time you actually spend with each other is so valuable! I’ll warn you now, travelling to see each other can get expensive. My boyfriend and I saw each other about once a term, alternating between who came to see who. I advise saving up some money to use especially for travelling and also using budget travel sites like Megabus.com – I use this for all my travelling and recently got a ticket from Aberdeen to Leicester for £2.50!
- Sexy Times… It’s a real challenge having a sexual relationship with someone who’s not actually there. So, I recommend you get real good at phone sex. There’s no room for shyness here, so let your partner know you’re thinking about them…and don’t skimp on the detail! It may be a little bit cringe worthy at the beginning, but it’ll improve your communication skills for when you’re together and it also make your sex life more exciting. If you feel the need to send a cheeky sexy photo that’s fine – the person on the receiving end will probably be most grateful. However let me be clear – if you consensually receive a cheeky photo, you may NEVER, EVER, share it. EVER. Long distance relationships are about trust, so don’t break your partners trust because you may end up breaking your relationship…which brings me onto my next tip…
- Trust your partner Sometimes it can be hard to stop thinking about what your other half is doing without you and if you dwell on things like that you can get into a real funk. If you want to make a long distance relationship work then you have to trust each other and stop overthinking. If they haven’t text you back, it’s probably because they forgot their phone – not because they’ve run off into the night with someone from Harry Potter Society. Trust that they care for you and you won’t have a problem.
So, that’s all the advice I can offer! Long distance is tough and sometimes you might not think it’s possible – but it is. It can be done! Good luck! Lucy Mugford