Why breaking up with a friend is the same as breaking up with an ex

Breaking up with an ex sucks. Declaring that your friendship with somebody is over REALLY sucks. So I decided to channel my inner Taylor Swift and use my recent ‘friendship’ break-up as material for an article, so this is why breaking up with a friend is the same as breaking up with an ex.

1.    The first thing that you think of is all of the good times:

I remind myself ... quoteSo your friend left you in the dust when you were at your lowest point. But when you finally declare that it isn’t working, you sit for an hour and realise that actually you did have some really good times. Ok, they might have just told you that you are always going to take a back seat to a partner that they’ve only known for a month, but then you always remember the time that you all were up until 6 in the morning just talking about things. It sucks, which leads to point 2…

2.    You will then cry whilst listening to Taylor Swift:

Kim K crying meme

So you’ve declared that this the end. You’ve tried everything and it just isn’t working. So on goes 50 Taylor Swift Albums, an industrial sized box of tissues and a years’ supply of Ben & Jerrys/ Dominoes/ sweets/ McDonalds/ etc. and then you just let it all out. The odd moments of balling Taylor Swift is also perfectly acceptable.

3.    You then call all your other friends who are willing to answer:

Ronald McDonald meme

After crying, you phone your friends. Then you cry a little more to them on the phone. Then they assure you that you ex-friend is the biggest (insert expletive of choice here) that the world had ever known. Then you insist that everybody comes over, with lots of alcohol!

4.    Then they all come over to give you a big group hug:

penguins group hug

So they knock on the door. Then you cry a little bit more, and everybody gives you massive group hug. They tell you that things will get better and then step 5 happens…..

5.    Then you drown your sorrows:

drink bottle guide

You don’t like rum normally. Every other time you think wine is the worst thing on the planet. However today is a special day, today you are willing to drink anything with alcohol in it. The dirty pitcher that you saw somebody pour half a bottle of Sambuca in, you wouldn’t normally touch but today is a shit day. Today you are necking it like it’s water. What’s happening to you!

6.    Then you go and have fun with your other friends:

Everything I want in a friend - ecard

You head to a nightclub. You listen to the corniest songs in the world and everybody is dancing like there is no tomorrow. Some of you might want to try and mount the bollards but either way, everybody realises that you don’t need that person who has given you hell.

7.    Then you realise that you’ve done the right thing:

I ain't even mad Pocahontas meme

It was so painful when it first happened. Now you realise that all the pain that they put you through just wasn’t worth it. You realise that they have to follow people around like a desperate puppy and you have your own life. Part of you will always be slightly sore when you see their name on Facebook, but the thing is your life is going to be so much better now.

8.    Then you learn from the experience:

Or in my case you write about it.

**DISCLAIMER: please drink responsibly whilst carrying out step 5 **

Kelly Davies

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